Being single is one thing. Being single and secure is another. It’s the version of you that’s not desperate for love or attention. It’s the “you” that’s comfortable taking your own self out to a nice restaurant or a movie. It’s the you that knows, at the right time, God will align me with the right mate that fits my destiny, not interrupts it. It’s the you that knows you're worthy of being loved the right way, and will no longer choose to settle. It’s the cool, calm, and collected you, needing nothing and no one, more than you do God.
It takes time to arrive to this place. It doesn’t happen overnight.
To be quite transparent, I have been single probably more years than I have been in a relationship. But hey, I am still in my 20’s and I have time. I refuse to allow anyone to rush me. I submit to God’s timing and pace, not the culture or this worlds. So I wanted to share a few tips to my sisters on how to be single and secure.
1.) Don’t be Anxious & Desperate
You don’t have to get on every dating app, and consistently scroll through social media looking to get “chosen”. Relax. Learn to simply enjoy the moment and season you're in. No matter how long you’ve been waiting, being desperate and anxious will never speed up the process. It will only frustrate you even more. So learn to let go and stop obsessing over being “in love”. No one wants a desperate and thirsty woman.
2.) Slow Down & Find God’s Pace
Who told you to run? Many of us are running ahead of God and wondering why things aren’t going our way. Slow down. Learn to walk again. You will get there. Let go of your plans to be married by a certain age, your timeline for having children, and etc. Your life is in God’s hands. He knows what you need and when you need it. Trust Him. He knows what's
best for you.
4.) Set Your Mind on Things Above
Renew your mind. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Meditate on what's good, not what constantly makes you worry about what you're "missing".
5.) Stop Comparing Your Life to Others
Social media will have you comparing yourself to everybody, their momma, and their auntie. Cut it. Stop comparing. You are a prize, not to be measured up with anything or anyone else.
6.) Dress Up and Take Yourself Out
I truly ENJOY doing this. I don’t mind dressing up nice and taking myself out to somewhere nice. If you have never done this before, I will blog on this and tell you exactly how to do it where you feel comfortable and confident.
7.) Serve in Your Community
Look for ways to get involved in your local community. Make a difference in someone else’s life. Life isn’t all about you. Help someone. Serve people. Give to people. This world is getting crazier and crazier by the day. There is something you can do to help and change the narrative. You can be an answer to a problem in your community.
8.) Go Back to School
I am going back to school this fall. I have my Bachelors degree but I realized I wanted to continue to grow and enhance myself. If you’re reading this, you’re the first to know. I will share the full details of me going back to school soon. But nevertheless, educate yourself! Education is power.
9.) Start A New Business
Have a new idea for a business? Tired or working a 9-5? Get creative and launch a new idea. Start the business. Don’t be afraid. Just go for it!
10.) Start A Book Club
Book clubs are a way to meet new people, take your focus off social media, and really feed your mind with positive things. Get your friends together and meet on a weekly basis. Need a book suggestion? I recommend my newest book (shameless plug) Emerge. Get it here.
11.) Travel The World and Explore
Start saving money to travel. Check out my article on travel here.
Cheers to my ladies striving to be single and secure. Enjoy this season. And at the right time, God will open up the door, and love will find you.
Your Sis Chance
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Chance Cessna is a renowned speaker, best selling author, TV host, producer, and serial entrepreneur. For all speaker/event bookings click here. To learn more about her, click here.
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